Why didn't I get the job?

This is a story about Sarah, a middle manager for a Fortune 500 company. She worked for this firm for 30 years in various capacities. Recently Sarah was passed up for a significant promotion in her department. She believed this promotion belonged to her.


In my role as a Life Coach, I had the opportunity to work with Sarah to explore this situation further. When we began our conversations she was quite bitter and blamed everyone from her boss, to company politics, even the color of her skin for being the reasons why she was passed over for this promotion. She was blaming everyone she could think of for her failure. We started our journey together by looking closely at what part she played in this scenario.

The big question here was what did Sarah really have control over in the work place? I remember the awkward silence following the question and then her reply. I guess the only person I really have control over is myself. This was a big moment for Sarah as she was beginning to build awareness around her work life.

I asked her to tell me a little bit about her job and what a typical week was like and these are a few of the things she shared with me. Sarah is suppose to be working four ten hour shifts and taking Friday off but that never happens as she can always be found at work on Friday and works a minimum of 65 hours a week of which she is only paid for 40. Delegation was a problem for her and most times she just did the work herself because she has a hard time letting go of projects. Saying no to anyone was also an issue for Sarah as people dumped their projects on her constantly because they knew she would do them without question. Sarah was an enabler. This also carried over to her personal life as well. Her family and husband barely knew her, as she was never home. When she was home her husband and sons pretty much took advantage of her in a similar fashion. She admitted to me that she had not had a vacation in over 5 years because there was just too much work to do.

When she finished telling me her story the line went quiet and it took a few moments before I heard Sarah admit that she finally understood the dynamics of her situation. She had to hear the words come out of her own mouth before she could experience her ah ha moment. I then asked her to put herself in management's shoes, would she ever promote someone that exhibited these behaviors and the answer was obvious. It all became clear at that point what had really happened to Sarah. She was ultimately responsible for her being passed over for that job.

Once her self-sabotaging behaviors were understood, we put an action plan in place to help change these behaviors. Sarah is armed with a newfound awareness and with that she successfully made real changes in her life.

Here is a snapshot of her life today. Sarah now works a 40-hour workweek. She has learned to delegate better at work and has a much easier time with telling people no. Her home life has improved dramatically as well. Her husband now sees her every night for dinner; she is no longer taken advantage of and just last month they took off to Florida to spend a guilt free week together.

Self-awareness was the key to change for Sarah and working with a good life coach helped facilitate that happening in her life. Oh and by the way Sarah will be ready for the next promotion opportunity when it comes her way.

Author is a Personal Life Coach living in Visalia, CA. To find out more about Dave Koss and his coaching practice please check out his website http://www.designyournewlife.com